You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
