with your own penis?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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