I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
