I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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