oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize