remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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