hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize