Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
