Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
