The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
