Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
