my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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