It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
