Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
