just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
