I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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