3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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