he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
