I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
