found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
