Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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