oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
