A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
