i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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