non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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