Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
