I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
