My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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