So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
