she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
