Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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