I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
