one two three fourrrrnication!
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
True strength comes from lack of pants
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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