it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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