i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
