I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
