Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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