Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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