its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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