what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
