Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
