Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
