That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
