this beer tastes like vomit already
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
