My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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