Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize