Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Randomize
