Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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