i don't like sucking hair
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
