Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The adults are the big ones right?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
