Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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