Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
