Im at strip club and am horny
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
ok first of all what the fuck
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
