playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Randomize
