gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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