he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
