she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just google imaged poop.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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