U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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