Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do vagina's smell?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
