What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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