So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
