no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There are leaves in my underwear?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
