your room smells of hookers.
And success
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize