Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
organizing the empties. That sober.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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